Time
by blueandblack
Summary: A series of twenty-four 100 word drabbles that connect in a plot. This was written primarily to fix Renee's ridiculously out-of-character reaction to the wedding in Breaking Dawn.


Renee flies in to Seattle with a heavy knot in her stomach, a sick lump in her throat, a cacophony of _This cannot be happening_ and _I saw this coming_ swelling in her head.

When Bella meets her at the airport she wants to shake her instead of hugging her.

She doesn't. She knows it wouldn't do any good. Bella is young, naturally stubborn and in love. She will not back down from this, not without a better reason than _You're too young, both of you, this is madness, don't you see what this did to me? To your father?_

--

When Renee meets Carlisle and Esme Cullen, properly, with drinks and small talk, she needs a moment to shake her first thought - _Jesus Christ, I'm meeting these people for the first time and my nineteen year old daughter is about to take their name_ - before resolving to be as friendly as possible.

There are two reasons for this. First, this ludicrous situation probably isn't any more their fault than it is hers or Charlie's. Second, and Renee isn't ashamed to admit this (to herself, at least), she plans to dig around, find out everything she can about Edward.

--

It's only when Renee meets the rest of the family that she realizes what was bothering her about Carlisle and Esme. The eyes. All their eyes are so unusual and more importantly so _similar._

She tells herself that the parents were a coincidence, the rest is simply genetics, it's nothing.

But then she is informed that only Edward, Emmett and Alice are siblings.

At that point the strange, impossibly matching eyes start tangling up with the fact that _Good God, their other two children are already married too!_

Renee swallows quick breaths, smiles sweetly at Esme, suggests they do lunch.

--

It's some kind of cult.

Renee grows more sure of it with every day that passes, and more anxious about her daughter's induction into it. Soon she's having nightmares about prophets and prostitution, incest and mass suicide.

"Come on, Charlie. Two kids barely out of school, already married to _two other kids with exactly the same eyes?_"

Charlie shakes his head, sighs. "Renee, I know you're not happy about the wedding and neither am I, but you're being ridiculous. The Cullens are good people."

Renee glares. "Where the hell are your cop instincts Charlie? There's something off about that family."

--

Coffee with Esme – they couldn't seem to find a day that suited them both for lunch – might have been pleasant if Renee wasn't busy trying to fit everything she said into a puzzle with no picture on the box.

Charlie managed to stem the tide of cult hysteria somewhat with tales of Dr Carlisle Cullen's good deeds, his high standing in the medical community, his pristine record…

But she still feels uneasy, even around Esme, who's trying about as hard as she is to forge a friendship – and Renee is pretty sure that _her_ effort is actually sincere.

--

They go shopping the next day for – Renee's stomach lurches – wedding outfits.

She groans at her reflection in the pink silk with matching hat, and Esme laughs, says she looks lovely.

Renee smiles, sighs, segueways. "I don't feel old enough to be _mother of the bride._"

Esme laughs again, says softly "I do."

"Are you trying to say you're older than me?" Renee asks, eyebrow raised. "I'll never buy that."

Esme's bright expression falters for a split-second. "I'm thirty-six."

Renee gapes. "Well you're extremely well-preserved!"

_She must have had work done. Maybe Carlisle has a friend in plastics._

--

It slips out at dinner.

"I cannot _believe_ Esme Cullen is thirty-six. She could almost get carded."

Bella bites her lip, but Renee doesn't see it.

Charlie chuckles. "You talk like thirty-six is ancient. What does that make us?"

Renee shakes her head. "You're right. She's actually remarkably young to have three adult children."

Bella flinches, Renee misses that too.

Charlie frowns. "You do know the kids are adopted?"

Renee's eyes widen. "Oh. But they all look so…"

"It's one of the reasons Carlisle is so respected. Those kids had nothing and nobody when he and Esme took them in."

--

_They're adopted. _

That hit Renee hard. Here she is digging for dirt on these people who've done something so brave, so selfless…

She and Phil had had a conversation just weeks before. Nobody knew, but they'd been trying for a baby for nearly two years. After what felt like the millionth negative test, Renee had asked whether Phil wanted to adopt.

He had said no, the point was having a child that was his flesh and blood, he wouldn't sacrifice his career and freedom for less than that.

Renee had agreed and she hadn't felt ashamed of it till now.

--

Renee decides to be straightforward with Esme when next they meet.

"Don't you think they're a little young to be making this kind of commitment?"

Esme hesitates, considers. "Yes," she says finally. "And no."

She stirs her coffee slowly. "I can assure you that Edward is very… constant. He is entirely devoted to Bella."

Renee swallows, torn between _Well then what was it about when he suddenly left her in that pit of despair a couple of years back? Never did get an answer on that one, did we?_ and _I know he is, it's in every look they share. _

--

From then on, when Renee spends time with Esme, she limits herself to innocent conversation – it's no use anyway she tells herself, this mother – _this brave, selfless mother_ – has only the highest praise for her son, she'll never get anything out of her that she can use to… to what? Break them up?

No. That's not what she wants. Edward and Bella are in love and Renee isn't _cruel. _

She just wishes she could stall things somehow, give her daughter time to think at the very least, at the most time to grow up, live her own life.

--

Time marches on, the big day draws nearer and somewhere along the way Renee gives up.

The wedding will go ahead as scheduled, there is nothing she can do about it.

She considers pleading with Bella to at least hold off having children for a few years, then decides that's unnecessary – Bella has never wanted to be a young mother, thank God.

The wedding will go ahead, and she tries her best to be okay with it, fails, tries her best to _pretend_ to be okay with it, succeeds admirably.

(With everyone but Edward, but she doesn't know that.)

--

Renee twirls around in pink for Bella, gasps appreciatively when Carlisle and Esme detail the secret honeymoon plans (Dear _lord,_ how wealthy _are_ these people?), and when Alice warns her away from the flowers, the cake, the dress, _everything,_ she laughs good-naturedly, even though she's actually a little scared. (For a tiny thing, Alice really is oddly menacing.)

She even makes an effort with the others. Jasper remains distant, though he smiles politely and she suspects he'd tip his hat if he wore one. She likes Emmett. He's loud, funny, somehow more _real_ than the others.

And then there's Rosalie.

--

Rosalie is a strange girl.

For the first couple of weeks of Renee's stay, she is aloof almost to the point of sheer rudeness.

Renee assumes it's vanity – after all, the girl is _gorgeous,_ almost upsettingly so. (Actually, she thinks the fact that Rosalie isn't in Hollywood making movies and modelling couture might just be the strangest thing about the Cullen family.)

But when Renee finally dares approach this ice-queen, tells her how incredibly beautiful she is, she reaps a quick, secret smile that is almost _beseeching. _

"In my way, yes. But I think your daughter is far lovelier."

--

After that, Rosalie seems determined to befriend Renee. The turnaround is more than a little strange, but Renee can't help but be charmed by this stunning girl who, it transpires, likes nothing better than to tend her small vegetable garden (in the rain).

One dull, gray Washington morning she enlists Renee's help in saving her lettuces from snails, digging the weeds out from around the tomato plants. Rosalie watches her with cautious, thoughtful eyes while they work in comfortable silence.

"Carlisle and Esme are wonderful people," she says suddenly, (_Significantly?_ Renee wonders). "I'd be utterly lost without them. Dead even."

--

Rosalie is in charge of this conversation, and she leads Renee down pathways that connect at points where it's too dark for her to see.

It's only when they arrive at their destination – because it truly is _theirs_ – that the floodlights come on.

Renee blinks.

"I didn't realize they were quite that…close."

"Love's a funny thing." Rosalie sighs, casts a meaningful glance Renee's way. "I think it's very hard for Bella, getting married while he's still missing. He could be anywhere… He could be hurt or worse and she's planning a wedding…"

Renee nods, they settle into silence again.

--

Edward gives them a strange look when they come inside, and Renee could swear she hears Rosalie _growl_ at him.

For her part, Renee goes and sits by him, engages him in conversation about Dartmouth. Now that she has a plan she can't help feeling guilty, keeps reminding herself that she's not doing anything wrong, this isn't a military coup, she's just going to talk to Bella and ask her to slow things down a little bit. It's what any mother would do, especially in light of this new information about her relationship with Jacob Black.

Bella needs more time.

--

Edward is unusually stiff. It's almost as though he senses she's plotting against him and Renee wishes she could reassure him - _I'm not trying to break you up, I know how much you love her, and I know she loves you too, I've known since I first saw you together, the way you look at each other, the way you move together, around each other in some mysterious dance._

She almost laughs at that thought because her child is _not_ graceful.

She keeps to a smile, looks at the brochures, and Edward soon seems to be his genial self again.

--

Renee has a hard time getting Bella alone. She seems hell-bent on avoiding her suddenly, almost as though she knows what's coming, and, of course, does _not_ want to hear it.

She corners her when Charlie has gone to bed that night, cuts her off at the stairs when she's headed for her room.

Bella smiles weakly at the offer of hot cocoa and a good talk, takes her steaming mug and follows Renee to the couch.

Renee opens with "I spent some time with Rosalie yesterday."

Bella mutters "I know," then adds quickly "You guys gardened right? That's nice."

--

Renee sips her cocoa, watches while Bella stares into hers with suspiciously red-rimmed eyes.

"We gardened, we talked. She's a sweet girl, really."

Bella all but snorts at that, because _Rosalie? Sweet?!,_ manages to get out a bland "That's nice mom, I'm glad you like her."

Renee nods. "She seems to like _you_ an awful lot, Bella."

Bella's smile is tight. "Yeah, in her way."

A moment passes in silence and Bella is just about to yawn pointedly when her mother goes in for the kill.

"She told me you and Jacob Black… had a falling out. Before he left."

--

Bella sighs heavily.

_No escape now._

"We didn't… it was complicated."

"Because he's in love with you?" Renee asks gently, "Or because you have feelings for him?"

_That_ is too much, and Bella's expression is somewhere between annoyed, livid and just _in pain. _

"_Had_, mom," she corrects. "I _had_ feelings for him." She lifts her mug to her lips, mutters "It's over" into it.

"I'm sorry, I know it's over," Renee says quickly, "But Bells, honey, you - "

Bella jumps in her seat, like somebody just slammed a door, spills hot cocoa in her lap.

She bursts into tears.

--

"Oh honey!" Renee takes the mug, reaches for a Kleenex, dabs at Bella's sweatpants. "It wasn't too hot was it? You didn't burn yourself?"

Bella shakes her head, tries to say something but it comes out in sobs and wheezes, and Renee sets the mug down, drops the Kleenex and pulls her daughter into her lap.

"Shh, it'll be okay. They'll find him."

That only seems to make the tears come thicker, faster, and Renee hears a muffled "But I'm s- scared of that too. I'm s- so…"

"Shh," Renee soothes, even if she wishes she would tell her everything.

--

When Bella is calmer, Renee sits her up, cups her face.

"You know what I'm going to say now, don't you Bells."

Bella rolls her eyes, nods with a deep breath in that shakes and stammers.

"You don't want to wait, I know. Which is exactly why you should."

The corner of Bella's mouth twitches upward while a tear drips down when Renee adds "Edward's not going anywhere, I promise."

"I know, mom. And I…" She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment. "I know you're right about the other thing. Waiting."

Bella groans a laugh. "Alice will _kill_ me."

--

Alice doesn't kill Bella, but the guilt nearly does.

Still, she was already half dead from it before, tripping merrily toward matrimony while Jacob, _her Jacob,_ was somewhere far away from everyone who loved him –_ far away from me _– and hurting so much, too much. (Bella could always feel his pain for miles.)

Edward understands. He is hurt, she knows he must be even if he would never admit it, but he understands.

She still wears his ring, kisses him fervently, swears that it's only time, nothing has changed, nothing ever will.

She is sure it's the truth.

--

_It's only time. _

That's something Edward never thought he would hear from Bella's lips. In different circumstances he would've been glad of it, taken it as a sign that she won't make him do it, she won't make him take her heartbeat away.

But now…

It may only be time but oh, it drags and slouches.

Weeks become months, months nearly a year.

Edward writes and rewrites his vows a thousand times, reads and rereads them till the words sound strange-familiar, happy-sad…

Time.

Edward never imagined he'd be spending all of his secretly praying for Jacob Black to return.


End file.
